Trust is Just as Important in Pet Relationships

Without trust, fear dominates a relationship. Fear affects all of our relationships, including those with our pets. In my new book, Your Pet's Peeves, I mention four main fears that affect human-animal interactions. In some cases, our pets can respond somewhat like our human loved ones when we project our insecurities on them. This may result in what some pet owners describe as "misbehavior," including forms of rebellion, noncompliance, and aggression. Overall, mutual lack of trust and attachment, poor communication, and inability to set rules of behavior will cause problems in interactions and mutual dissatisfaction.

Identifying the source of a fear is a good start to tackling it. Usually some stressful or traumatic life experience has caused us to distrust ourselves, our environment and/or others. Before you continue to allow the past to affect your pet and others, speak with a therapist. I will be in Atlanta, Georgia, on Saturday, June 14th at 11:30 a.m. at the Microsoft Store in Lenox Mall to take your questions and discuss parts of my new book that could help you create new habits that counteract fears affecting your pet.

New Pets at Home Cause Welcome and Unwelcome Changes

My job, as an animal psychologist, is to help disillusioned, disappointed or even disgusted pet owners. Thus, I want to prepare those thinking about getting a pet.

First of all, ask yourself these questions: Why do I need a pet? Why did I choose this particular pet? Maybe I want it because I watched a movie where this kind of animal impressed me so much that I wanted to own it. Maybe I saw someone with the same species or breed and was so impressed that I wanted the same animal. Maybe it’s that I can't forget a pet from my childhood and want to relive that experience. Maybe I suffer from loneliness and want to address the problem by getting a pet.

Whatever the reason, be totally honest with yourself because making a decision to get a pet imposes serious responsibilities for years and can alter your lifestyle. Are you really ready? Are you sure that your momentary whim will not spoil your quiet, albeit a bit boring (as you may think) life? These questions are important because people’s unrealistic or uniformed expectations can lead to major disappointments and unhappiness.

Okay, so you are ready. (Keep in mind, although you may be ready, everyone in your household may not be. This lack of total readiness almost always poses an issue, which affects the pet.) You know why you want to get a pet and what you want to get.

Leaving aside the harmless lizards and goldfish, although they also need a care, let's take a cat or a dog. When you get this pet of your dreams, you will face different challenges, such as torn clothes; scratched furniture; damaged books and important documents; broken vases; unearthed lawns; pools and heaps on the floor; and simply getting used to the nature of the animal. Not matter how familiar, this new pet will likely be different from the pet of your childhood or from your favorite movie, so keep your expectations in the realm of reality. In addition to preparing your heart, mind and home, you’ll also need to prepare your wallet. Pet care and maintenance can be expensive.

Most pet owners realize and accept all of this and relish their animals as a member of the family. In fact, your relationship with your pet might be one of the most pleasant experiences, one that transforms both you and the animal.