Why does my pet seem to only like my...?

Some pet owners complain about lopsided relationships, saying things like:

"My pet seems to like my husband more."

"My cat only lets my wife pet him."
"Our dog only takes orders from our youngest child."

An owner may erroneously assume that his pet doesn't like him or someone else in the household. In chapter 9 of my book "Your Pet's Peeves,"  I explain:  

...dogs are pack animals with developed sense of hierarchy. Like wolf packs, human families also have hierarchy. Often, the dog does not fit into the family structure. Sometimes, adult owners who accept a pet as a child think that they automatically hold the dominant position in relation to the pet. Pet owners often think this dominant position not only applies to them, but also to every other human in the house, including small children. While this is often true, occasionally a dog of a large breed that tends to have dominant qualities will not obey a weak-willed owner. Furthermore, that same dog will also refuse to be subordinate to a small child.


A dog may notice that one child in a family, for instance, may have great influence, so the dog may incline itself toward that person, the leader.  It could also be that the pet does not like a pet owner's tendencies and wants to stay away. There are many reasons for these kind of actions. You may need to contact a specialist tot learn more.

Is my cat missing the litter box on purpose?

 It depends on what do you call "purpose." Usually owners consider missing the litter box like a desire to take revenge something. Actually that is wrong. Our pets never do that! 

Revenge is an action planned in advance and performed after an event caused it, sometimes, much later. However, a lot of experiments show that animals (including apes) can't make long-term plans. Thus, missing the litter box is usually a sign of anxiety that an animal feels. Another question is why your pet feeling anxiety. There are a lot of reasons. To answer that question an owner needs to seek professional help from a pet expert.

Is My Pet Normal?

Throughout my career, I have had many people believe their cat or dog is plagued with something that only exists in the mind of the owner. As such, what's normal behavior often comes into question.

My answer: this depends on what you call normal or abnormal behavior. We do not know the total percentage of groups with interaction disorders since many people are unaware of their dysfunctions. Indeed, pet owners subjectively perceive the pet-deviant behavior phenomenon. We interviewed 44 cat owners and 44 dog owners in order to spot deviant behavior in their pets. We asked, “Do you think your cat/dog has any behavioral issues?”

Owners of 20 cats and 14 dogs pointed out certain deviations in their pets’ behavior. Cat owners, in most cases, mentioned aggression, motor stereotypes, and relieving themselves at home. Dog owners also mentioned aggression, motor stereotypes, and anxiety. Owners of six cats mentioned fear of strangers. When all the cat owners were once again asked if their pets were afraid of strangers, another five cats joined the group, simply because their owners did not initially see their fear as deviant.

Similarly, two dog owners mentioned their pets’ hyperactivity and hypervocalization. When all the dog owners were asked if they had noticed hyperactivity and unmotivated barking, another three dogs with similar behaviors were identified.

There is a tendency for people to only notice a “problem” only after other people discuss their issues. This is somewhat like “groupthink” in which everyone in a group strives to conform. How does this affect pets? Well, people may believe that their pet is abnormal and seek unnecessary treatment.

Allowing Your Pet to Sleep With You

Most people allow their dogs to sleep in their beds every now and then. Sometimes its for the animal’s comfort and sometimes it’s for the owner’s. Either way, if you always want your pet to sleep with you, it's okay. However, if you suppose that sometimes someone else will occupy a place in your bed, you shouldn't allow the pet to sleep with you. The main advice here is be consistent and coherent! Your pet sleeps with you either always or never. Otherwise, your behavior will be confusing from the pet's point of view.

Having Sex in Front of Your Pet

The cat just keeps staring as its pet parent enjoys unbridled sex. The animal neither reacts nor moves even as the couple exchanges favors or changes positions. Suddenly, it springs on the bed and begins sniffing…

Ever wonder what an animal is thinking when you have sex in its presence? Does the animal care or, better yet, should you? Do pets even know what you’re doing?

To begin with the last question first, yes, of course they know what you’re doing. Like humans, they emit pheromones, which trigger sexual attraction. Thus, the scent of sex is familiar while not exactly the same. If an animal is spayed or neutered, human sex can't affect it. However, if an animal is unsterilized, then having sex can affect it due to the specific smell of fluids secreted during sex (sperm, lubrication, etc). Overall, try not to traumatize your pet by having sex in front of it. Because we’ll never know exactly what they’re thinking, it’s best not to do anything that could trigger unwanted behavior in your cat or dog, such as excessive curiosity.

The Best Pets to Adopt

You may know that a fox terrier is an active, joyful, brave dog. If you love your lawn, though, a fox terrier is not the animal that would best complement you. So what is the criteria for which pet is best to adopt: Age? Breed? Gender? Life History (if known)?

Let's take age. The younger the better is generally the rule. Still, how can you know that this animal doesn't have inborn diseases or a temper problem? Sometimes an older animal in a shelter is so grateful and loyal that it turned out to be the only right choice you could have done.

After reading The Complete Dog Book, the bible of dog breeds published by the American Kennel Club, we learn that choosing according to breed doesn't guarantee all the traits which you may have expected. Sometimes a mongrel can bring more joy into your life than a dog with a multi-page pedigree.

Ultimately, there is no best option in my opinion. Just ask yourself, when you go to a shelter, these initial questions: Why do I need a pet? Why this pet? Why do I want to get it here? What if I regret my noble impulse?

One thing I like to remind pet lovers is to never betray or overlook animals who know you and love you (i.e. pets of your loved ones who passed away or a divorced couple) if they need a new owner. The only other thing I would advise is to avoid falling under the power of advertising. Just because someone says their animal selection is “one-of-a-kind,” “healthier,” “special” or “unlike anyone else’s” doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed a pet that will not have grave issues. In general, use your instincts and identify any natural connection you may have with a particular animal. Of course, ask questions and know something about the type of animal you want beforehand. Otherwise, you could be in for an unwanted surprise.


Photo credit: Brooklyn Bridge Animal Welfare Coalition/Facebook

Does Pheromone Therapy Help?

Pheromone therapy is becoming a popular means to control behavioral problems in animals, such as anxiety, fear and aggression. Pet supply stores now carry pheromone diffusers and spray products. Does this work, for the most part, to curb behavior or just certain behaviors more than others?

Based on studies, we cannot conclusively state that pheromone therapy doesn’t work. I can, however, say that it does work effectively in some instances.

Pheromones are chemicals that animals emit that affect the behavior of other members of the same species. They affect an animal’s social behavior, including food gathering, sexual attraction and signaling danger. In nature, pheromones clearly have an impact on dogs’ and cats’ behavior, so the logic is that synthetic pheromone products (i.e. sprays) might be useful in managing behavior problems for pet owners.

These products may help avoid anxiety in pets, but the owner should be calm himself. For example, if an owner is afraid of thunderstorms, the pet will be afraid also, despite the pheromone therapy. First of all, a master MUST be self-confident enough to demonstrate to the animal that he is able to defend it. This is especially important in an animal’s first year of life. Unfortunately, sometimes, the early experience of an animal may be so traumatic that pheromone therapy doesn't work.

Overall, pheromone therapy can be used to prevent or reduce stress-related problems, but the owner must also consider behavior modification techniques and even medications if necessary.